Melancholy & The Infinite Sadness

Tonight I’m feeling somewhat melancholic and reflective (and not because of the shiny duct tape on my arse either — don’t ask). If I had to guess, I’d blame Christmas and my financial situation for my complete and utter lack of enthusiasm. Due to my debts I’ve already decided not to participate in the holiday and I sent out an email to my family stating as much. I just don’t have the money for it and when I do, that money is already committed to debt reduction. I don’t have anything for them and would rather I didn’t get anything from them in return. It just wouldn’t seem right.

More importantly however, I just don’t have the spirit for the season.

On top of my seasonal Bah Humbug-ness I’m none too thrilled with my current job. It’s retail sales which is tolerable but I’m not a fan of the merchandise so I can’t be bothered to “sell it” with any great conviction. I can safely say that my co-workers are a bunch of knobs with little or no intelligence and even fewer social graces. It’s commission based sales which I utterly despise due to the poor work atmosphere it espouses. Already during my minimal training I’ve come face to face with the ugly underside and it ain’t pretty — as I said, my co-workers are knobs. Finally, it isn’t a position that has any upward mobility unless I sell well and with my aforementioned distaste I’m doubting that will happen anytime soon.

Needless to say I’m still trying to find something better, or just different and this will just keep the wolves from the door for a little while longer until I land somewhere I like. Hopefully that won’t take long because already my patience for this place is wearing thin and the little good that is there is being buried under a mile of bad.

I was going to post another stupid meme at this point, but my lead up to it jumped the tracks a long time ago and this post is a wholly different beast now. Instead I think I’m just going to end things for now and go to bed. I have to “work” *shudder* in the morning.