As some of you might have noticed a little earlier today, I took the site down to clean up some back-end code, update my WordPress version and to just fiddle around a bit. You shouldn’t see any visible changes to the page as most of the changes I made were on the back end. All in all the site should run a bit smoother now. And to top it all off, I managed to find a fun little plugin that will block your views of site with a splash page should I ever do it again.
I’m rather proud of my splash page and all it’s geeky glory. Rather than actually activate it so as you’re all subjected to it’s brilliance I’ll just paste it below so that you can bask in it’s awesomeness and if you ever come to the site in the future and see it you’ll be a hoopy frood who knows exactly where his towel is.
As you can see, The Gnomes of Zurich are currently in the process of upgrading The Website to better integrate the Orbital Mind Lasers currently on loan from the Discordians. As this usually involves such intricacies as defenestrating the idiots involved in maintaining the Database, perpetuating the latest conspiracy theory with the local Templar sect, consulting the Illuminati’s star charts regarding Great Cthulhu’s imminent re-awakening, whipping the Gerbils running the servers, and quite possibly disemboweling the Site Admin with a spoon (because it hurts more you idiot) we can only give you a rough estimate as to when the site will return to it’s usual state of abnormal malcontentedness.
Our Magic Eight Ball suggests you ‘Ask Again Later’, whatever that means.
Why not try back in approximately — X minutes.
Sorry for the inconvenience… actually sod that. We’re not really. We’re just saying that to sound compassionate when in truth we couldn’t give a steaming pile of dingoes kidneys about you. The site will be back when and if we’re finished. You should be mature enough to cope for now (or at least more mature than we were when we wrote this page). There is a whole internet filled with enough pr0n and crap to satisfy your cravings and amuse you until this site returns. Go on now, be free.
As you can tell, I’m easily amused on my birthday.