Month: April 2006

Shane had a link to this site up on one of his old blogs for the longest time and it amused me so I figured I’d fiddle around and see what I could see. I honestly can’t remember if I ever posted the link to it before though (and I’m too lazy to check the archive). I know I had intended too, I just can’t remember if I ever got around to doing it or not.

Anyways, here are some of the places I want to go in the world fictional or otherwise.

div#places-map-header { font-weight: bold; font-size: 14px; }

Your Fortune Is

Underwear is not the best thing on earth – but next to it.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Now. With that wackiness out of the way, here’s the gist of things. Since I’ve been back, I’m definitely noticing the economic boom we’ve got going on here in Alberta. I have *pauses to check the machine* Wow! Six messages from companies wanting to schedule interviews with me. That’s up from the three that were there this morning when I left for the two interviews I already had scheduled. I’ve got more interviews lined up and more job requests to date than I’ve ever had at one time in my life before. It’s insane. *channels Sally Field for a brief moment* “You like me, you really like me!”¹

Here’s hoping that something solid will come from this.

Now I’m off to grab lunch and then I’m heading out into the breach once more my friends.

¹She actually never said in her oscar acceptance speech, but it has since slipped into the public collective memory and it is what we remember. What she actually said was “I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”

I really need to get off my arse and change this blogger template to something that is both fancier and elegantly simple at the same time. This current one has really worn out it’s welcome with me. *Le sigh*

I guess that’s my cue to finish updating the website template as a whole as well. *Snort!* Yeah, we all know that’ll happen sometime just after the Vogons stop by to create a hyperspace bypass. *hrrm* I’d better pack a towel then.

*dons a pair of peril sensitive sunglasses and wanders off aimlessly, leaving you with the choice of listening to Vogon poetry for eternity or letting your lower intestine throttle your brain to put you out of our misery*

I know I’ve griped about lack of decent hockey coverage in the states on a number of occasions in the past, and I’m sure that 99.9999% of you could give a rats arse about this but as I’ve also said in the past, it’s my blog and you can find a sharp stick and sit and spin if you don’t like what I blather on about.

Anyways, back to me.

I never truly realized just how much I missed the seeing hockey games until the Oilers / Detroit game came on the TV tonight. I’m not the biggest hockey fan on the planet to begin with but I do enjoy watching a game now and then. And I will be fair and say that there are hockey games on tv in Texas so it’s not like I haven’t had a anything to watch for the past year (not that I’d want to watch the Stars to begin with but that’s a horse of a different colour and the basis for another rant entirely). It wasn’t the fact that it was on tv, though I really enjoyed listening to Ron & Don and the rest of the CBC crew again.

My realization about how much I missed it came solely from the cultural identity that surrounds the sport. Hockey is very much an integral part of who we are as Canadians even the ones that don’t care for the sport. To the general populace in the states (specifically the south) it’s just another sport that tends to take a back seat to the holy trinity of Football, Baseball & Basketball. Here, people look forward to games. They rearrange work schedules if possible to see the games (sorry Colin). They are genuinely excited about their team making the playoffs and there is a noticable positive vibe that pervades a city when the team is doing well. Even if, as an individual, you’re not a hockey fan, the glow coming from those that are can cheer you and give an unconscious moral boost.

Now I’m not trying to make this a Canada is better than the states rant <sotto voce> It is 😛 </sotto voce> I’m just commenting on why I missed hockey here. It wasn’t the coverage. It wasn’t the teams. It simply was the social and cultural impact that the sport has on us as Canadians. It’s almost as if it’s a Force of Nature. Hrrm, I wonder if all it takes to win the cup these days is 4 green and 2 colourless?

Anyhow… the Oil won tonight, as did the Sens and Flames and that’s all that really matters in the grand scheme of things. Here’s hoping that Lord Stanley’s Cup doesn’t summer south of the 49th!

G’nite
*wanders off bemusedly while humming random verses from The Arrogant Worms “We Like Hockey” and Stompin’ Tom’s “The Good Ol’ Hockey Game”*

Yarr Matey! Today’s brilliance is brought to you by an anonymous land pirate of little consequence.

“I find that brothels are a much safer investment than ships. Whores seldom sink, and when they get boarded by pirates, why, the pirates pay good coin like everybody else!”

Flew in from miami beach boac
Didn?t get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee
Man I had a dreadful flight

I?m back in the u.s.s.r.
You don?t know how lucky you are boy
Back in the u.s.s.r.

Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee it?s good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone

I?m back in the u.s.s.r.
You don?t know how lucky you are boy
Back in the u.s., back in the u.s., back in the u.s.s.r.

Well the ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the west behind
And moscow girls make me sing and shout
That georgia?s always on my mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

Oh come on, oh yeah…

I?m back in the u.s.s.r.
You don?t know how lucky you are boys
Back in the u.s.s.r.

Well the ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the west behind
And moscow girls make me sing and shout
That georgia?s always on my mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

Oooh show me round your snow peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy?s farm
Let me hear your balalaika?s ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm

I?m back in the u.s.s.r.
You don?t know how lucky you are boys
Back in the u.s.s.r.

[oh let me tell you honey
Hey I?m back…]

                                         Back in the USSR – The Beatles

Okay, so perhaps I’m not actually back in the USSR, but I do find myself back in another somewhat socialist country that is globally known for it’s Hockey skills.

That’s all for now.

This is amusing and addictive. If you remember the game where the yeti bashed the penguin with a club to see how far he’d fly, then you get the gist of this one as well only this time it’s hamsters. There is something absolutely cathartic about launching a small furry rodent through the air.

My current best total record is 393, 506, 547 ft with my personal best distance of a single hamster toss of 235 ft.

And who’s fault is it?

Hrrm?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

That’s what I thought.

I declare this day and all others that come after it to be easily amused day. A day of days when crap you find on teh intarweb amuses you for no reason other than it exists and you stumbled across it.

In that spirit, I bring you two stupid quizzes.

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view – and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

and

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor – Art Teacher – Book Editor Clothes Designer – Comedian – Composer Dancer – DJ – Graphic Designer Illustrator – Musician – Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.