Ummm…. Okay?!?!?!?

So really, can anyone here tell me what a 2000 year old (give or take) dead guy smells like? Apparently these people know.

Honestly, what will they think of next? You humans baffle me so much sometimes that I am sorely tempted to phone up my editor at The Guide and see if my expense account has enough in it to deliver 7 or 8 thousand bugblatter beasts from Traal just to see what you’d do with them.

Hang on… Frankie mouse wants to have a word with me.

*bzzzzzzzzt* <<<<Transmission Ends>>>>

And Now You Know…

*Cue NBC’s The More you Know Music*

I found this while surfing around tonight. It’s stupid and it’s funny so I thought I’d share.

(Just reload the browser window to learn more)

Some of the more amusingly stupid ones that I’ve come up with so far are:

In 1972 Vin Diesel was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn’t commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire…. Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel once used Gary Coleman as a hand puppet. Coleman said the experience changed his life and led him to give up smoking.

Vin Diesel has spent thousands of hours and a personal fortune trying to convince the band Ramstein to do a cover of ‘Broken Wings’ by Mr. Mister.

Vin Diesel challenged Jesus to a race across the Atlantic and would have won had he not been eaten by a giant whale. After he murdered it to death from the inside, he emerged in the South Pacific and found the island from Lost, and rescued everybody.

He is made up of smaller, slightly more British Vin Diesels

Just Cool

Okay, some of you may recognize this guy from such movies as There’s Something about Mary or The Medallion and some of you might not recognize him at all. Unbeknownst to most though, is the fact that he’s had a successful stand-up comedy routine/act for many years now. I found this little snippet of one of his shows and thought it was damn inventive and cool so I thought I’d share.


Okay… last night’s CSI had one of the more amusing lines I’d heard in awhile.
I don’t honestly know why this amuses me so much but it does.

“This guy married?”
“Okay, is anyone else’s Gay-dar going off then?”

And in other news…

See, when 3 People think it, it’s obviously true.

I found this webcam image today…

Draw your own conclusions. (and I think I’m about Pope Palpatined out for now so I don’t plan on tormenting you all any more with any crap I find)

And On the second day…

Heh, I bet you were expecting some sort of crazy ass Doctor Who themed rant about the new guy they officially cast as incarnation number 10, weren’t you. Sorry to dissapoint you all but I know that you’d all think I was a crazy ass fanboy or some such shite if I did something stupid like that (besides I don’t really have anything to say on the matter beyond the fact that hey, at least they’re going on with the series). Instead I’ve had a handbasket prebooked and ready to fly for the only real (read heretical) thought that I’ve managed to come up with regarding the new and “improved” Pope on a Rope. Sadly the only thing I hear in my head when I think about it is Turkish from the movie Snatch saying to Tommy, “Ze Germans are coming Tommy. Ze Germans.”

And on that note… I’m going to go watch Doctor Who.

Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers…

Okay, so I blatantly stole that title from one of the Red Dwarf books by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor (or Grant Naylor as their collective writing genius is usually accredited as), but it’s fitting in a roundabout sort of way. That is to say it speaks of cheesy, enjoyable British science-fiction television. So, while this entry has nothing specifically to do with Red Dwarf (beyond a faint hope that the forthcoming movie won’t suck anywhere near as much monkey cock as the current HHGTTG farce that’s coming) it does have to do with good British Sci-fi television.

Yes, if you haven’t guessed yet, this is another Doctor Who entry.

So I watched the second episode with a little trepidation as I was worried it would end up as rushed as the first one seemed to be. Thankfully the pace was much more enjoyable and relatively sedate. There was a fair amount of character development, both from Rose as the fish swimming way out of her depth and from the Doctor to help explain why he is the way he is this time around, but not their whole life history so to speak. Just enough to keep us interested (or me anyways).

I am slightly dismayed to find out that he’s the only Time Lord kicking about these days though. His explanation of events gives me worry that in one fell swoop they’ve written out two of his most intrinsic nemeses, The Master and The Rani. But then again, there’s always hope that it’s just a slip of a 900 year old time traveller’s brain. After all, there never has been a series bible as to what can and can’t be done and numerous episodes have contradicted themselves on a number of occasions.

There’s a few other perrenials that I’d love to see pop up in the series as well just for nostalgia’s sake, especially UNIT (and possibly a cameo from Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart), the Daleks, the aforementioned Master and Rani, the Cybermen and of course at least one run in with at least one of the other Doctors.

Speaking of those, I suspect that it would probably have to be Sylvester McCoy as he is the only one that still has a chance of physically resembling his incarnation. Of those remaining, Tom is a tad old and silvery haired now, though still a fine actor in his prime. Peter would be a good fit as well, though he’s a little a little rounder in the face in the last interview I saw. Sadly I think Colin is right out as he has completely gone to seed and looks like a tubby little bowl of pudding. As for Paul McGann, he might work as well, but he never really identified with an audience so they probably wouldn’t recognize or care for him.

At any rate, Tuesday is just around the corner and I have much to look forward to.