And For the Record… It’s Officially Lord of t…

And For the Record…

It’s Officially Lord of the Rings Day once again so pish off while I watch The Two Towers!

No, I didn’t buy it, but I have a mother who’s apparently even more of a fanboi than I am and she did. So, she now has a crappy edition of The Two Towers to match her crappy edition Fellowship DVD. Guess that means I’m going to have to get the creepy Gollum Statue extended edition in November to match my extended edition fellowship.

Oh well. I”m still sick. I feel like complete shit warmed over so I guess this gives me something productive to do for a bit.

Yay me.

Oooooooooookaaaaaaaay…. Right, so the followi…


Right, so the following e-mail landed in my inbox the other day and was immediately filtered out by Netscape 7.1’s shnazzy new mail filter (That thing is a godsend btw). But as I still don’t fully trust technology to do all my thinking for me, I still take the time to rummage through my junk folder as it comes in to see if it’s misclassified any mail. So far in the month that I’ve had it, I’ve seen it misclassify 3 emails out of about a couple of 100 that I’ve received in that time. Yeah, I know that’s not a lot compared to some much more public or commercial websites, but it has more than satisfied me.

Anyways, I digress. You really have to wonder what the point of this e-mail is. The obvious answer is that it’s just a spammer trolling for active e-mail addresses to put on a list, but maybe it really is someone trapped in time…. we may never know.

Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed dw vne saqbupbog


I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003.

Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.

Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z,) which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at:

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You

Brian Appel

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Ramblings of a diseased mind Right so I’ve been…

Ramblings of a diseased mind

Right so I’ve been feeling like crap all day today. The sort of “2 exits, no waiting” feeling that you get when all your bodily fluids decide to have a fire drill without letting you know. Not fun stuff.

So I’ve lain about in bed for most of the day dozing and feeling like general crud warmed over and hoping I can make a dash to the bathroom should the floodgates decide to open.

Anyways… enough about the wonders of my personal biology. Onwards to the good idea ——>

Like I said, I’ve been lounging around today and this has given me some time for some really weird thoughts that I figured I would share with the world.

For some reason, I started to think about some of the ideas and concepts from the Harry Potter novels. Now for all of you who’ve read Harry Potter (or seen the movies), you should be aware that pictures, photographs, paintings and the like all contain moving versions of their subject and that images in them are alive and thinking after a fashion. I’ve always thought that this was not only generally cool, but a great idea as it reminds us all of the old paintings on tv and in books where the eyes follow you around the room, just one step further and, at least so far in the books, not as menacing.

Anyways, to take the concept further, it was mentioned in the latest book that the images in these wizard pics can freely move about between their own images. So, for example if I had a famous great uncle Artemis who was world renowned for inventing the word Muggle or something and I had a portrait of him hanging in my living room and he also has another painting of him hanging in some dusty old library on the other side of the planet, then he would be free to move about between the two as he so desired. I got to wondering then. Are there two painted images or is there only one painted image and he has to spend all his time flitting between all his portraits to keep up appearances? After all, it’s made very clear in the novels that the images do have a tendency to wander.

It’s an interesting concept but things about it kept nagging at me. One would think that each portrait would hold it’s own image, but then you wonder what happens to one of the images when the image from another comes barging in? Do they merge? Is one shunted off to the side or are they twins? This enquiring mind needs to know!!! And then I started to think about photographs, do the negatives also move? I mean they’re technically images as well. And if they’re moving around, how does one manage to capture a focused image to turn into a photograph in the first place. The more I questioned the idea the more the concept started to break down for me as I started having to rely more and more on the as “It’s magic” excuse.

Anyways, I tossed aside the whole development process as a bit of a dead end and started thinking about mass produced imagery such as magazine photos or newspaper pictures. Going back to my idea of how many images are there, I made the decision that there had to be one version per painting or photo otherwise the image would spend all it’s time flitting about between copies of itself and I assume it would get quite exausted really fast. I still haven’t figured out what happens with multiple copies of the image though. I guess I’ll just chalk it up as “It’s magic” and leave it alone for now.

Wandering further along in this twisted little exercise in dementia I started thinking about the widely held tribal beliefs that a painting or photo can capture one’s soul. That would certainly explain why the paintings could move and have sentience in the first place. It does however raise more questions that throw back to my previous ideas. If a photo or painting captures your soul, do multiple copies of that same picture capture more of your soul, or is one fragment enough to fuel the infinite number of pictures that could exist? Hard to say really and if the former, does that mean that famous people in the wizarding world are soul-less?

Anyways… by this point most of you have realized that I was falling into that lucid dream state just right before actual sleep so my thoughts became more than a little disjointed at this point. Just as I was drifting off I realized the whole purpose of why I liked the moving pictures in Harry Potter in the first place:

Porn Magazines in the wizarding world would rock the block!

Amen for healthy imaginations.