What’s in a Name Anyways… Part Deux Mini-Rant…

What’s in a Name Anyways… Part Deux

Mini-Rant Included Free of Charge

Okay, so after I posted that last link I decided to go back and actually wade through the plethora of pathetic grammar and phonetic mis-spellings just because I couldn’t stop laughing my ass off at the sheer idiocy of some of them. Besides, reading the author’s snide and ascerbically smart-assed commentary was just as much fun.

I pretty much perused the whole site and eventually found this little snippet buried away in the best of section on the last page.

16. Random Welsh nouns and list of Celtic names

An open letter to the people of Wales, Ireland and Scotland on behalf of the U.S. and big chunks of Canada:

I’m sorry. I’m very, very sorry. But here in North America, we seem to be harboring a class of people with an overzealous affinity for your nations and their history. A breed of people who think Ireland and Wales, and to some extent Scotland, is some sort of mystical Avalon full of dainty faerie folk and think it’s somehow cultured to give their kids un-Anglicized Gaelic and Celtic names.

I know Welsh and Gaelic pronunciations are very different from English, but they’re not well-known here at all, so these parents are being three levels of mean: a) giving a kid a difficult-to-say name, b) spelled entirely different from how it’s said in English and c) way, way pretentious because it’s a lot of effort for a name that Mom found in a Dungeons & Dragons guide and has no real connection to.

I’m very sorry your history, language and culture are being appropriated by geeks. What can I say, we’re really dumb sometimes. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Can I get an AMEN? I couldn’t agree more, and while I am probably more emphatic about this than the average person because I am one of “the people of Wales, Ireland and Scotland” (yeah, I get around), I also think that this isn’t a phenomena that is limited to that region of the world. It sadly happens all over, just not as often with other cultures because the “New-Age Pseudo-Wiccan Goth Wannabes” (read: friggin eejits) generally can’t get beyond the concept that Faeries and Mythic beings exist in other cultures besides the Irish/Gaelic ones and so their one track minds associate all things creative and “frou frou” as being Celtically cool.

While I admire and applaud any person or family that go out of their way to learn about their heritage, roots and culture and attempt to continue those traditions, it’s the people who are not even remotely geneticallly descendant to these groups that just up and decide that they’re “Celtic” just because it’s cool or the in thing to do that really piss me the fuck off. Shut the fuck up! Sit down, and listen! You have have no fucking business claiming this heritage just because you saw the name in a book somewhere and thought it was cool. I don’t care if your great auntie’s adopted former lesbian twin sister from a parallel dimension was married to Cu Cullain. That makes you about as Celtic as the pile of crap my brother’s dog left in the back yard. So get off your faux pretense painted arse and get the hell out of my sight.

If you see a name and think it’s cool, that’s all well and good, but don’t go off thinking you’re a blue-faced, druid fearing celt just cause you know what Imbolc, Beltane, Lughnasadh and Samhain are and mean.

Grrr.. anyways, back to the names. This is a really big bone with me. If you decide that you pick one of these celtic names because it looks cool and you don’t know how to friggin pronounce it, ask someone who does…. and when they tell you. Don’t friggin try and change it!!!!

Point of Note.

Eadoin is pronounced AY-dwhin

It’s not ad-win. The A is hard like in hay, or day. and it’s the whuh sound from the beginning of where or why combined with win.

Simple right? You’d think so… But after I was recently asked to give a phonetic reference the former pronounciation persisted. Look… just call your kid Edwin and get it the fuck over with. It’ll save the kid years of having to spell his name every time he goes somewhere and his teacher will actually know what the hell to call him.


Or better yet. See my rant from a paragraph or so ago and don’t bother asking me anymore.

Bah… this damn train of thought has been derailed. I’ll be back later to bitch more.