Are You Prepared?
Maybe it’s just that All Soul’s Night and Samhain (pronounced Sah-whin for those non gaelic speakers out there) are fast approaching (collectively known as Hallowe’en for those among you who aren’t savvy with pagan druidic beliefs – I won’t begin to discuss the Christian idea of stealing and sanitizing pagan holidays. That’s another rant entirely.. but I digress.) , but I’ve noticed a hell of a lot more Zombies in the news lately and I’m starting to get concerned.
First, it all started on a dark and…. yeah, I didn’t believe that one either. Nevermind…
First, there was the inevitable whacked out conversation between myself and my friend Felicia about the comparative benefits (and detriments) of using Zombies or Pumpkins (yes, the garden variety. I told you this conversation was whacked) as minions in your evil empire.
Then came a link on the Onion about the benefits of an all-brain diet (I’d link to it but it has been archived and is only available in print form. Volume 38 issue 35 if you’re interested).
And now… a few days later I come across THIS link.
I’d suspect a conspiracy but the copywriter seems to have forgotten the word don’t in the following quote and that just ruins the whole product.
Most Americans use and value their brains — the natural food of zombies.
Still. I think every family needs at least two or the world will end next Saturday around teatime. If you don’t believe me, just ask Agnes Nutter. She’s a witch.