As you can probably tell, my last couple of posts …

As you can probably tell, my last couple of posts have been fairly negative in theme and direction. As I said last night, this is probably due to the extreme amounts of frustration that not being able to update or tweak my site has caused me. Unfortunately there is sweet-fuck-all that I can do about it at the moment so griping and venting is about my only outlet. So bear with me as it will probably continue for the near future or until things change at my ISP.

In other news though, I’ve been pondering a comment that my darling wife made to me in passing while we were on our honeymoon and it has sort of stuck with me to the point that I’m going to blather on to you all about it *grin*

The comment she made was that if there was anyone she knew that would be a Buddhist, it would be me. Now I snickered a little and made some pithy comment at the time like any good Irish protestant lad would (not that I’m technically a “good” protestant or anything) but after a time I got to thinking about it some more.

Now on one hand, it would seem that my wife was implying that nothing much phases me and I live my life in some Zen-like cocoon and some times, that is exactly how I live my life. It tends to be more of a trance than a cocoon though as there are days when I don’t notice much of anything. On the other hand though, what she said could also mean that my outlook on life seemed to coincide with many of the Buddhist and zen philosophies.

After thinking on it in the time since we returned from our honeymoon, I’ve come to the conclusion that she is probably right on both points. My world views and outlook do tend to follow some natural zen path through everything I do. I tend to take the non-confrontational path more often than not, and I also try to see through all the dross and mumbo-jumbo that surrounds ideas and dogmas to see the crucial central lesson at the core.

Now that isn’t to say that I’m going to go shave my head and put on a saffron robe, but it does say something about me. That here is a man who has grown up with a natural cynicism and disdain for religion and yet, has managed to find an equilibrium within himself that parallels certain teachings.

I’ve always considered the cult of Christianity to be the biggest bunch of hypocritical idiots that the Earth has seen since we climbed out of the trees. Dogma bothers me. Blind faith bothers me. Being unable or unwilling to open your head to the possibility of more than one idea bothers the living fuck out of me (especially when I catch myself doing it).

Paganism has always appealed to me in the sense that, it at least is open to the idea that there is and can be more than one driving force in the universe. And by paganism, I do not specifically mean Wicca or any of these other new age mother Gaea worshipping cults. I’m talking about the pantheistic pagans; those that worship Thor and Loki and Odin or Ra and Anubis and Horus or Lugh and Morrigan and Danu. The ones that have the sense to embrace the idea that all concepts and ideas can have or be a god.

Now I’m not saying that the pagans are right, but at least they have the sense not to blindly follow the 2000 year old cult of YHVH (That’s Yahweh for the uninitiated. The original Hebrew name of God) just because everyone else says that they should. Who knows, perhaps every “god” is all just one tiny facet of a greater consciousness that we’ve yet to even begin to comprehend. Let’s wait and see shall we?

And in other news… I’m grumpy as all get out …

And in other news…

I’m grumpy as all get out because I still can’t update my frigging website remotely. My damned ISP FINALLY responded to me after I sent them two, no sorry it was three nasty emails.

Their response? Guess. Go on, I dare you!

No, “Please hold.” wasn’t quite right, but close enough to win you the weekly prize of not getting your head kicked by me. Their very polite and very vague response was simply that “they were endeavouring to enable remote access and should have it working in their next publish in the near future” but there was no indication whatsoever when that publish or that near future would be.

So in the meantime, I continue to sit with my thumb up my bum and my websites (yes there is a plural there) continue to drift further into the background waste of out of date internet space.

I think perhaps that this too has fueled my ire about the lack of commenting that I so eloquently ranted on about in the previous posts. The fact that all I can do to this website is comment via this blogger is annoying, and it gets boring after a time to be honest. It’s like having a panel full of bright flashing buttons and all I get to do is play with the one black one that turns one red light on and off occasionally. I want to frigging change the damn poll, I want to frigging change my bloody bio so as it says I have a wife rather than a fiancee, I just want to do something other than post here dammit.

Okay…. rant over as this isn’t going anywhere purposeful. I’m going to bed now. G’night