Hi… Umm, my name is Greg and I’m a Lord Of The R…

Hi… Umm, my name is Greg and I’m a Lord Of The Rings Junkie.

Its been about umm, sixteen years. It all started on twelfth birthday when I was given an innocuous black boxed set containing the Lord of the Rings in three volumes and The Hobbit.

Being a carefree, intelligent young lad and unaware of the impact these books held within their pages, I innocently flopped down and began to read them one winter’s morn.

I… I… can’t really describe the feeling that came over me as I immersed myself into those pages. I was immediately drawn into these books and they slowly worked their magic on my system. I was transported into the endless vaults of my mind where the fields were ever verdant and lush, the forests dark and sinister and to the east was always Mordor…

These seemingly simple books ensorcelled me with images of kindly (yet vastly incomprehensible) old wizards, ancient and wise elves, carefree hobbits and tragically noble men. From the day I opened the first pages I knew I was hooked. Yet I did not fear, I embraced the books as my precious own and delved into them time and time again. Every few years I’d pick them up and reread the words that had first ensnared me. I would feed my addiction with other works by other authors and they would satiate my desires for the moment but my mind was ever drawn back to the beginning… like… like the ring trying to find its master.

As my addictions grew, and I satiated my thirsts with other works, somehow… somewhere, I managed to put the books down and move on. Or so I thought.

I… I… I thought I had put it all behind me. I had been clean and sober from that musty tome for over five years. B…bb-but then it happenned. Other addicts like myself had been driven mad b..by the books and had finally forged a film that they hoped would praise the work.

I fretted over this. I tried to ignore the hype. I tried not to think of this new lure. I put my mind to other things and desperately sought to free my mind from its clutches but alas, I was snared.

I gave in to the hype and bought a single volume edition of the Tome because my older ones were now falling to bits out of sheer overuse. I dove joyfully back into the pages and l felt the giddy headrush that a man dying of thirst feels when he at last tastes water again.

I was in heaven. The movie came and I watched with ritualistic awe at the masterpiece in front of me. Sure it wasn’t a word for word retelling, but without change there cannot be growth and the changes I saw were not drastic or blasphemous enough to stir my purist soul.

I’ve only seen the film once, but only because I haven’t had the time to see it more than that. If I could…. I am certain I would be able to sit through 4 showings straight without moving.

I’m Greg and I’m a Lord Of The Rings Addict. *cackles madly then puts on a ring and dissapears*